Passion Wants To (Unbury the Bones)

Mercury in retrograde, a great time for revisiting and re-evaluating. In this case, editing. I am working on a very special collaboration with my mom and I'm going through a lot of old pieces. Thought I would repost a few favorites....

wants to

Skeleton Woman emerges

13 Grandmothers

Bones are buried in the earth,

but the house is on fire

and children run screaming into the void.

The flimsy handle of a plastic spoon

can't dig you out of this enigma,

threshold dripping like an overripe fruit.

Chaos surfing the waves of a thousand ancient tomorrows,

eyes propped open with toothpick stability,

no requiem for this mad, insidious night.

The whisper of my heart comes roaring

out of ripped open throat chakra,

amplified by moldavite mysteries.

Passivity feeds Desire,

Desire fuels Passion,

Passion wants to dance wildly,

ecstatically chanting its own name

in a field of bemused sunflowers.

Passion wants to strip naked,

licking the flame of its own existence

humming a slowed down version of its favorite song.

Passion wants to lock eyes

at the star crushing point of orgasm

and purrrrrrrr in blissful abandon.

The corners of the universe bow down

marking the pages

of places

people

lost teeth

wrong turns

first kisses

bellyaches

that weave the intricate fabric of our being -

simple reminders of our all consuming smallness.

Swirling inside our triple spheres

playful interactions,

engaging distractions,

divine invitations to tea.

The cells of this body cannot sustain the old and weary.

Skeleton Woman scrambles to find shelter

inside of changing skin.

Held fast by the raging ebb and flow of infinite curiosity,

of the epic journey of a single breath,

as it flows in and out of consciousness.

Soul scream breaks free from weathered lips,

doubt disintegrates in the emptiness of the moon,

sung down by a circle of weird sisters.

This fear lodged within every inch of our captive bodies

heating our blood to the point of boiling,

fights its way to compassionate ears.

The wisdom of 222 grandmothers

muffled and lost behind double paned windows

and triple locked doors.

rhuummm arrtttaaaateee naaanohaaaai

Open the fucking door!!!

Soft Sunbeam of the Morning

through the sparkling trees

crisp fall morning

yes, in my head it looked like this

spun around, you found me

and together we danced

drummed up a sweet Earth rhythm -

dirty rich like top soil

funny like a worm farm

feet caressed by her overflowing love

massaged by an ever growing beauty

caught in a tidal sway

and in the soft sunbeam of the morning

i fly gently away.

Curious fingers follow

shifting light rays

i reach for you, you disappear

shining on my belly

so radiant, round and smooth

i find you again

smile in delight,

oh how you tease!

then with eyes almost closed

i slip into my own rhythm

slide my hips to the left and back

pulling with me last night’s dream

starry colors of yesterday

smear into dawn

filter through you

and with a shudder a thousand echos deep

patterns escape my heartbeat

emanate into the atmosphere.

Your warmth jumps gingerly

across my closed lids

i spin around in wonder

feeling loose in my skin

so free in my heart.

Eyes blinking open

i slide away on purpose

so i may know your shadow better

flitter about in darkness

bask in the contrast

peer over the edge

too cold in your absence

humbly i seek your radiance

wrap myself in intoxicating secrets

uplifted by the promise you hold

a-muse myself again and again

thumpity thump thump

so in love with this game

fearless for a simple moment

remembering how to play

in the soft sunbeam of the morning

i fly gently away.

Faster than the Wind

sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet sunflower

Faja de Santo Cristo, Sao Jorge

Adoro Alentejo

What will you wish for?

i can't fly faster than the wind -

blow a kiss to sweet Atlantic

dive into cool Pacific

trust the turn of seasons

newly yellow leaves

reflect my dream's desire.

Landed in a gentle frenzy,

blurry memories

whispers of emotions

threads of connection,

in the wild open west

subtleties rise to the surface

as fragmented shapes and colors.

Followed the sun backward

round blessed mother earth

tears glistening in the vapor trail.

Carried along on a gentle breeze

my heart is on fire

my home within

and my path ever winding...

The Gift of Fire

Fire Ecology Mural

Before and After

"The ecological benefits of fire include: habitat improvement, fuels reduction, species regeneration, increased nutrient cycling, and reduction of wildfire hazard. In addition, fire can create a mosaic of burned and unburned areas, resulting in natural breaks and diversity in the landscape that reduce the potential for large scale catastrophic wildfires.

Fire reduces accumulation of vegetation that can inhibit plant growth. By suppressing all wildfires, fuels begin to accumulate to unnatural levels setting the stage for future fires that are larger, more intense, and more dangerous to fight.

Many plants and animals depend on fire for survival. Periodic fire stimulates growth, plant reproduction and provides critical wildlife habitat.

In summary, natural fire is a vital process to maintain the diversity of habitats available to all species in the ecosystem."

To be here, in this body, on this Earth, at THIS moment - such an intensely beautiful gift. I feel a great mystery unfolding, simultaneously within my own mind and body and within the collective consciousness of all beings.

Since the time of the industrial revolution humanity has been driven primarily by economic motives. In our creation of this "advanced" industrial, technological society we have set off on a destructive path that is killing not only our Earth but ourselves. We slowly poison ourselves with toxic food and we endlessly consume, consume, consume - dumping our unwanted byproducts into water supplies and burying them in hopes this toxic waste will simply disappear. We watch our precious oil spill gallons upon gallons into the ocean, devastating life there for decades, altering it perhaps forever. We are held captive by an economic system that does not account for the true COST of our exploits. We've long strayed from the heart path, if we have ever found it in the first place.

I won't take it upon myself to explain the severity of our global environmental and social crisis - there are people who dedicate their lives to making this information available. Instead, I'm more interested in personal reactions to this crisis. My rational mind is giving way to my emotional body. I feel like I've shed more tears in these last months than I have in a lifetime. Selfless tears that ache and moan for mama Earth. Tears that escape my heart and fall violently from my eyes, heavy with the weight of empathy for our present condition.

But these tears do not fall idly into a bottomless pit, they drop from my eyes, forget they are tears and flow slowly, slowly to join the sea; carrying with them my fears and desperate prayers. This raw emotion becomes a catalyst, kindling for the fire beginning to burn deep within. I feel more awake than ever, for all the positive and negatives of eyes propped wide open. Its not a fluffy, bright awake where everything shines with unexplainable beauty. More like a wide ray of clarity that is spreading across my vision, giving me the gift of insight. Some information I receive with great joy and with some I feel the blood pumping through my veins and my inner ear begin to burn and vibrate.

Inside I'm screaming. Enough! Enough! Enough! We've gone on like this for too long. Somewhere deep inside of me i imagine another way of life. A way of harmony and balance. But also I know that the road leading there is treacherous. I don't imagine its paved with rainbows and dotted with butterflies, but rather that it will be a path of destruction that will tear through humanity, ultimately breaking us down farther and farther until only our core remains. This materialistic world will burn before our very eyes. It might feel like our own flesh is on fire, like we ourselves are burning up. The flames will burn down this grand illusion and maybe then will we realize the falsehood of our beloved economy and the true value of life. In nature, fire regenerates as it burns. It clears away the debris and makes way for new life.

May wild fires sweep grandly and rapidly across our consciousness clearing away the constraining thought process of dominant culture, stimulating our growth and creating space for diversity and ingenuity of thought.

Acknowledging Rage

The fury of Gaia

Toxic Food

Clearcutting forests

Rivers of plastic (Citarum, Indonesia)

I am so filled with rage and sadness. Its Overwhelming. I feel it consume my body, press down on my shoulders, pound in my head, ache in my belly. And no, I can't ignore it, I won't pretend it doesn't exist and I won't apologize for it. Visions of hot lava exploding from the Earth mesmerize me. This seems so urgent. This rage won't be held back, through the weakest points she leaks.

If all we want and all we need is to love and give love, why is it so hard to do? Why is accepting love and beauty so difficult for us? Our hearts know the truth, the purity that exists there is real. Why is it so hard to share that with others or even to remember that this pure place exists within us? Is this part of our problem? Have we forgotten this beauty inside ourselves? Instead we've become our fears, our insecurities, our past, our doubts... we've convinced ourselves of a different truth. A dark truth that whispers to us, feeding our feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.

I'm so angry right now.

I'm angry that even when I try so hard I can't cut through this bullshit.

I'm angry that so many of us are complacently living a lie.

I'm angry that we have mistreated the Earth so very much - polluted her rivers and precious bodies of water, poisoned and pillaged her soil, her soul; burned and dismantled the secrets of her great forests.

I'm angry that we are living under the strong spell of money - that this great illusion of worth has fooled us all, reprogrammed our values and priorities; that people die because of it or for the lack of it.

I'm so fucking angry that our children are eating toxic food. That instead of nourishing their growth and health, the food we are feeding them is slowly killing them.

I'm angry that we have so much potential, so many choices, so many ways to be and still, we continue to make the same mistakes - we continue on this path of destruction.

Enough is enough!

I sit by the creek, watch the flow of the water, I cry, I scream, release this rage. So so much to scream about. I don't need to hold this in, I do not own this anger.

Instead I pray. I pray. I pray.

I pray we wake up.

I pray your cries of distress lift us to our feet, call us to action.

I pray for clean water, I pray for healthy food, I pray for peace.

I pray that we remember this Earth is our Mother, our source, to whom we are endlessly connected and indebted to.

Above all, I pray for love. I pray that we can learn to truly love each other and to truly love ourselves. Or at least that we never stop trying.

I pray that I find the strength to transform this rage into action.

I pray we find a new story rising from the ashes.

Oh Mother, please hear my prayers.

* Edited to add:

I thought about taking this down, because as quickly as it arises, the rage disappears. But, it needs to be heard, it needs to be witnessed in order to let it go. As I mentioned in the beginning, I won't ignore it or apologize for it. The writing helps me process emotions that can be too overwhelming.

Unrest in Her Belly

Volcano and Aurora

Fire from her belly

Clouds of ash choke the air

"Yes, creation is moving toward us; life is moving toward us all the time. We back away, but it keeps pushing toward us. From radiant space, from luminous darkness, it is approaching us. The elder brothers and sisters see that we have wounded the world, but creation still comes forward. Some of the elder brothers and sisters see that each of us bears the wound that we have suffered upon the Earth. And with this, life cannot help but move toward us. Prophecy and story remind us to turn toward creation, toward our extended self. Through the body of imagination, we are reminded of the World Body that gives us life. By destroying this body, we destroy ourselves. By restoring this body, we shall be restored"
- Joan Halifax, The Fruitful Darkness

Unrest in her Belly

The Earth, she screams

her molten tears

melt the landscape

transform it,

our security becoming

less and less certain,

a little more questioning

every time the Earth shakes.

Wake up, she screams

as ash clouds fill the sky

turning light to dark,

tumultuous skies

disrupt flight patterns

no more business as usual,

our systems fail

we are masters of no one,

we're mere puzzle pieces,

with illusions of control.

The Earth, she roars

how many cities must fall

before we truly hear

our buildings crumbling

foundations cracking,

empires crashing down?

There is unrest in her belly

and fear in our hearts,

are we ready for a new dawn?

Are we ready for a new way?

Dreams Sting So Sweet

Dreaming in the womb.

Tiny inspiration.

(photos by Francyne Kunkel www.justaddlight.com)

and these dreams

they fly through my body

with the force of the heavens

fill my veins,

beat in my chest

dance spirals up and down my vertebrae

tickle at the back of my throat

until i cry out

from that dark place in my belly

that stirs and churns

aches and moans

burning with the fever of life.

and these dreams they sway and slide

thickly through the canopy of my mind

where all is possible

everything i imagine grows wings

takes flight

painting loud colors across

night's dark sky.

and these dreams

i feel them vibrate within

filling my lungs with air

my eyes with tears,

tears that won't be told no

tears that sing of a life lived

tears that sting so sweet

as they fall deeply

under the spell of spring,

smell of spring

always unexpected

ever welcome.

how beautiful it is to be alive,

how beautiful it is to dream.