Acknowledging Rage

The fury of Gaia

Toxic Food

Clearcutting forests

Rivers of plastic (Citarum, Indonesia)

I am so filled with rage and sadness. Its Overwhelming. I feel it consume my body, press down on my shoulders, pound in my head, ache in my belly. And no, I can't ignore it, I won't pretend it doesn't exist and I won't apologize for it. Visions of hot lava exploding from the Earth mesmerize me. This seems so urgent. This rage won't be held back, through the weakest points she leaks.

If all we want and all we need is to love and give love, why is it so hard to do? Why is accepting love and beauty so difficult for us? Our hearts know the truth, the purity that exists there is real. Why is it so hard to share that with others or even to remember that this pure place exists within us? Is this part of our problem? Have we forgotten this beauty inside ourselves? Instead we've become our fears, our insecurities, our past, our doubts... we've convinced ourselves of a different truth. A dark truth that whispers to us, feeding our feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.

I'm so angry right now.

I'm angry that even when I try so hard I can't cut through this bullshit.

I'm angry that so many of us are complacently living a lie.

I'm angry that we have mistreated the Earth so very much - polluted her rivers and precious bodies of water, poisoned and pillaged her soil, her soul; burned and dismantled the secrets of her great forests.

I'm angry that we are living under the strong spell of money - that this great illusion of worth has fooled us all, reprogrammed our values and priorities; that people die because of it or for the lack of it.

I'm so fucking angry that our children are eating toxic food. That instead of nourishing their growth and health, the food we are feeding them is slowly killing them.

I'm angry that we have so much potential, so many choices, so many ways to be and still, we continue to make the same mistakes - we continue on this path of destruction.

Enough is enough!

I sit by the creek, watch the flow of the water, I cry, I scream, release this rage. So so much to scream about. I don't need to hold this in, I do not own this anger.

Instead I pray. I pray. I pray.

I pray we wake up.

I pray your cries of distress lift us to our feet, call us to action.

I pray for clean water, I pray for healthy food, I pray for peace.

I pray that we remember this Earth is our Mother, our source, to whom we are endlessly connected and indebted to.

Above all, I pray for love. I pray that we can learn to truly love each other and to truly love ourselves. Or at least that we never stop trying.

I pray that I find the strength to transform this rage into action.

I pray we find a new story rising from the ashes.

Oh Mother, please hear my prayers.

* Edited to add:

I thought about taking this down, because as quickly as it arises, the rage disappears. But, it needs to be heard, it needs to be witnessed in order to let it go. As I mentioned in the beginning, I won't ignore it or apologize for it. The writing helps me process emotions that can be too overwhelming.