Spiral water fountain, Boom 2008
Graffiti by HighRaff & Ram, Boom 2008
Sacred Fire altar, Boom 2008
Can you feel the beating pulse of change as the minute particles in your body die and are reborn in a constant evolutionary swirl? Been walking down some strange and lonely roads in recent months, with the hot sun on my neck, carrying jugs of water to quel the primal thirst building deep inside of me. Sweltering under layers of emotions, that do indeed, suffocate. All the water is rushing down the drain at the same time and there's something blocking its way - a piece of food, some hair caught in the pipe perhaps. I've surfed the whole spectrum of emotion along an unexpected rainbow arc, peeking out of a bold horizon. The secrets whispered to me in moments of meditation, in quiet moments when the spiral unwinds and the tension melts into a blue sky littered with shapes of dinosaurs in billowing cloud masterpieces; the secrets shouted at me amidst the chaos of streets saturated by cows, people and smells; these secrets crawled inside and rearranged the mental processes of my young mind. With no familiar surface to bounce off of, my mirror mirror on the wall reflected the same face, the same me, that I'd always seen, minus some hair on my head ;) And now, when a memory and a feeling from the past has manifested into flesh before my very eyes, my own reflection has changed. I notice now, the differences in myself, a million little things that have stealthily combined to create a different me. I struggle to match the frequency of my lover. Overwhelmingly frustrated at the conflict between heart and mind, between dreams and reality. I believe in love, in its power and beauty. I know that I am capable of expressing this well of love that resides deep inside. I feel its presence within me, so why is it so complex to express? Time and space, although illusory in nature, are powerful forces to contend with as well... as the continuum stretches over the boundaries of the heart. I'm struggling with the deepest parts of myself, with fears and embedded patterns, with eccentricities, dreams, disappointments, beautiful surprises, unknowns, parts known all too well... I'm not running away, but i'm not exactly running the other way either. I'm desperately trying to practice patience with myself, be gentle with my heart and fragile hearts of those around me. I'm trying not to let frustration take over, but to let things unfold naturally. Fragile and yet tough, always growing, expanding, learning, this process is timeless, no beginning and no ending, swirling, swirling, I should enjoy the swirl instead of struggling to swim against it... i feel a strong and deep resolution brewing inside, the end of yet another cycle, beginning, end, breath, been, being, be.
