Solstice Fire

The light returns!

Solstice dreaming..

Short days, long nights.

Seconds spin eternity on this long night.

These emotions of mine want to play,

so I dress them up like paper dolls

twirl them around my fingers 

like a strand of hair fallen out of place

use them as kindling 

in a brightly burning solstice fire.

Memories dance on the backs of my eyelids

light changes against shadows

the darkest moments make the best fodder 

for this hungry, anxious fire.

So very very much I want to burn up tonite,

like the walls I've built so very very high

artificial distance between you and I,

doubts I nurture like little babes

feeding them whenever they cry cry cry loud enough.

I want to burn the creeping, sinking, sticky numbness

loops of apathy, loops of apathy, loops of apathy,

the trap of words as they beat against the roof of my mouth.

Burn burn burn 

this goddam fear that squeezes my eyes closed so tight.

Tonite, I want to burn the invisible weights that tie me down.

I offer it all up to a willing fire,

red and orange coals drink up the excess

smoke fills the air, purifying as it rises.

Soon the light will return,

slowly slowly towards a new day.

Amidst Fallow Chaos

Mendocino Woodlands

Exploring the edges,

rugged borderlands,

amidst fallow chaos,  I run -

my heart pounding, 

spit forming,

shapeshifting,

hiding behind mask after mask

but never escaping

myself.

Beneath the layers,

only my core essence remains...

a gentle lover

compassionate guardian

steadfast witness

and loyal daughter of Gaia.

I lay flat on my back

feeling the cool dirt of the forest floor

against my bare skin, 

soft moonlight peeking thru trees

the last thing I see before 

my eyes flutter closed.

As I surrender my body to her

our heartbeats merge

effortlessly,

without struggle.

Body.

Bones.

Blood.

Dirt.

Compost.

Dancing, dreaming, resting

in the womb of the Earth.

We are all connected.

Earth Woman

Morangos

Pirilampos

Sister Goddess in flames

My beginning is my end is my beginning . . .

I am a woman born of Earth.

I paint pictures in dark red clay

redrawing the lines of my figure

the only way I know how.

I dance in fields of wildflowers

feast on strawberries kissed by wine

in the shade of a wise tree;

my roots go down.

I am a daughter of the cosmos,

made up of stardust.

I connect the dots in starry skies,

learn to fly in dreams, asleep and waking,

bravely map out liminal spaces.

I am cousin to God’s smallest creatures.

I speak to animals in make believe languages

chase fireflies through forests untrodden;

a dotted line, black against the page,

traces their path across the landscape.

I am a sister of the Goddess.

I sing my strength in songs remembered,

digging up stories yet untold,

her memory shining in passion's flames.

I am a woman born of Earth.

My beginning is my end is my beginning . . .

Stardust in da Root Chakra

Made of stardust

we ride waves of manifestation

down to the cool depths of Earth,

shimmering pieces of our shining bodies

strewn across the universe,

infinite mirrors,

glowing reminders 

of our miraculous being.

We remember our roots

thick, sturdy and purposeful,

as we lift one vertebrae off the ground

and then another.

We nourish our inquisitive minds,

feed our ever expanding curiosity 

in an endless quest for knowledge. 

We find solid ground again.

Coming home to Mother, 

returning to decipher our heart's truth,

translating a language of pure love

into words our rational mind 

can almost comprehend.

Looking down to our feet

we tune in to the resonant frequency

vibrating within the Earth and our bodies,

stretching through awkward growing pains

a sign we're doing something right.

Red Cowboy Boots

Guardian of the Veil - Martina Hoffmann

This could be 

the most joyous day 

of my life,

if I let it be.

I stare into my own eyes, 

unafraid of the beauty 

reflected back. 

Joy in the mundane,

who knew lip gloss 

and red cowboy boots

could bring so much delight,

strolling through town

soft sun shining,

modest wind on my cheek.

Joy in nourishment,

sundays in the kitchen,

fermentation experiments

food alchemy fork by fork.

Joy in mystery,

in my mysterious head

every word has three meanings

every sentence unravels humanity

& paragraphs unlock chakras.

Joy in slow motion,

I lay on my back

slowly rolling over each vertebrae, 

gently, one at a time.

I feel so present,

so alive -

so close to the Earth 

i can smell her,

wet dirt and sweet geranium.

sunny daze

Sunny daze and magic potions, my belly is full of culture and I'm always in the right place at the right time.

Patience finds me

Trillium

Patient manifestation

I am emerging,

a seedling

after a hard spring rain

embodying strength,

determined to survive,

a photosynthetic miracle

unveiling new layers

in front of fresh eyes.

Out of my fingers,

grow vines

delicate and reaching

toward a distant sun,

green into yellow,

shadows fall on my face.

Flowers bloom out of my ears

as I dig deeper

in pursuit of patience.

Tender flesh

sweet bone

of a lover undiscovered,

an open eyed kiss

rooted in Gaia's fertile belly,

illuminated by dreamscapes &

prayed upon under dark moons.

Inspired as a bird's enchanted song,

I leap into the work,

carefully tending,

diligently watering,

finding beauty in focus,

creating intimate space

and remembering to laugh.

Lying amidst weeds & wildflowers,

staring through translucent skies

of unbridled hope,

patience finds me

with immaculate timing.

Digging Deep

The little bridge leading to my house.

You mean we only get daffodils for a few weeks out of the year and then they are gone? Those friendly, outgoing, shining flowers just appear out of the depths of winter, carrying the promise of spring in the bright yellow of their petals and then simply vanish, a job well done. Amazing. Such an incredible cycle we are a part of. 

I'm waist deep in an intense cycle myself. I feel so grown up, I am making healthy choices that are taking me to new heights of proactive inspiration. Everything in perfect synchronicity, as this new found motivation rises up within me, I'm becoming more aware of how quickly the days, weeks, seasons pass. It's a steady reminder that our time here is not infinite and a reminder that I've got work to do. So many dreams, so much love to share - I don't want to "waste" a single moment!

Our garden is such a joy! I can't think of any more satisfying way to spend a sunny afternoon than with hands dug in the dirt. It can be difficult to balance the time between time spent in the garden and time spent "working" (haha gardens are work tooo!) But I've discovered that after lunch I am pretty useless for computer work, but its a perfect time for me to get busy in the garden.

I'm convinced that the most effective way to change the world, yes THE WORLD! is if every family starts planting their own food gardens. I'm sure the reasons to garden are endless but here are some of my favorite reasons to plant a garden:

1. Save money and energy! Sending produce literally around the world makes no sense. Why pay, in dollars and environmental cost, for food to travel so far when it can be produced in your own backyard? Organic grocery bills can be pretty heavy on the pocketbook as well.

2. Take back food production! Not only can you regain control over what you are eating (have you looked at food labels these days, what is that stuff?) but I think its an important step in reclaiming your life. Now is the time to learn ways to be self-sufficient.

3. Gardening builds communities, families, friendships. Gardens are a lot of work and you will get better results if you work together. Plus you can share resources, share recipes, have work parties, harvest feasts, knowledge... Teaching children about gardening and food production is priceless.

4. Exercise!! Bags of soil, digging beds, weeding, the job list in the garden goes on and on. Why pay for yoga, do garden yoga for free!

5. Health. Not only will you know exactly what has gone into the food you are consuming, but by spending time in your garden you develop a relationship with your plants and they know what you need! Let them nourish you! eat more greens ;)

6. Beginners mind. Even an expert gardener can't completely control an organic garden. You have to develop the beginner's mind and creatively solve problems that arise in your garden. You are the constant student.

7. Oh, the inspiration. You are nurturing life! Caring for it from seed to harvest. The gift of life provides endless inspiration.

8. Getting in tune with the Earth. By observing and participating in plant, moon and seasonal cycles you begin to get in synch with the rhythms of the earth. You'll feel more balanced, grounded and harmonious.

9. Gardens are beautiful. Nature is the best designer. She has produced so many beautiful miracles in plants. Its truly pleasurable to sit back and admire a garden.

10. oh, did I forget to mention: YUMMMMMMM! Food fresh from the garden is the ultimate culinary experience. Imagine the fun you'll have in the kitchen coming up with ingenious ways to prepare all of your fresh harvest. Fresh salsas, salads, stir fry, lasagna, fruit pies, the sky is the limit. Dinner parties and BBQ's will take on all new significance. 

On this day

On this day, I live in the land of plenty. I count my blessings on both hands, sometimes both feet too. Surrounded by a color of green so vibrant, so alive, so nurturing, it bathes my soul in delight. 

On this day, I laugh so hard my stomach jiggles with joy - my belly is full, my heart content and I feel like I am falling in love with the whole world.

On this day, I am so full of inspiration, it fills the entire length of my body, inspires tears at the sight of simple signs, at melodies in songs, photographs and art pieces.

On this day, I am conspiring to find ways to love you more deeply, devising mischievous plots to share this joy with you. I'm diving into the depths of the Earth's beauty, seeing daffodils for the first time, rewriting my story, filling in the gaps, creating my own happy ending starting right now.

Seedling at Spring Equinox

Succulent.

Faery flags.

Victory garden, phase one.

Seedlings catching some rain.

Season turns

pace quickening

spirit rested

yet body remains cold

chilled air 

on vulnerable skin

still gently sleeping

dreaming

seedling.

Nourish me,

bathe me in honesty, 

unbridled emotion.

Feed me sultry kisses,

late night moonlit dances.

Equalize darkness within

as the sun balances 

the moon,

sing me whole again.

Daffodil Daydream

Daffodils on my windowsill.

Subtle.

Closed eyes 

envision daffodils;

long, thin, green stems

giving rise to six petals 

a perfectly balanced star

of oh-so-creamy white

soft, pale yellow at center

just enough to stand out

whisper hello,

capture my imagination.

Tears fall where

words should be,

pen on paper

fingers on keyboard

clumsy and shy

doubting 

wanting 

but not knowing

how to sing

the truth of daffodils

as winter waves goodbye.

Flushed

OM TARE TUTTURE TURE SVAHA

I feel flushed with inspiration and desire for life. Did you know that February literally means "month of fever"? We are slowing awakening from winter's depth. Teased by the promise of spring and sunshine.  All around me i feel the magic of new beginnings of thought and action.

I've been digging deep with my thoughts about love these days. Exploring what love actually means to me, how i cultivate & nourish it, and how i express it. I've been blessed lately with the unique opportunity to address some unresolved issues with past lovers, and also to revisit past relationships in a new context. mmmmmm, I'm opening my heart to compassionate love.

And when it rains it pours. Somehow, through the slow manifestation of years of prayer, an incredible opportunity has arisen for me. A new challenge that I take on with full motivation and eagerness. A phase of intense re-structuring of my own mental map, creating a new path for myself. One that challenges me on all levels and yet allows me creative freedom to provide my own solutions. It also allows me to call on my extended network of talented and skilled friends to help realize this project. I am so grateful for this opportunity. I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

On this new moon i dedicate myself to the path of helping other people realize their dreams...

We Are the Ones We've Been Waiting For

What to plant? Much work to do!

Homebase in the Woods

Empowered by a synchronicity of events and welcome resolutions, inspired by a long walk in the redwood forest near my home, I am answering the metaphorical question, what do I want to plant in my garden? 

There can be no static answer to this question. I'm a life in progress, a constantly changing and evolving being. But the only way I know how to answer this question honestly is by staying tuned into my own needs and wants, being clear with my own emotions. Not an easy task, with so many distractions and interference (and don't you feel like this "interference" is getting louder? hmm, another blog altogether)..

I've been meditating on the Goddess Tara every day. She is compassion in action. I want to open my heart up to compassionate love, both giving and receiving. I find it so helpful to spend time in meditative space with the spirit of Tara. To imagine myself with those qualities that allow her to love so freely and so fiercely. I've always thought that this kind of meditative work would only develop results over a long period of time. But sometimes it seems as if the Earth is spinning faster and faster our intentions are greatly magnified. I've already been experiencing a great abundance of love, of inspiration, of opportunity. 

All of sudden it seems the flood gate of inspiration has opened within and I am motivated to take on new projects, to continue plotting and scheming projects of my own, to make those decisions that have been lingering in the back of my mind, to become spiderwoman as I weave a destiny full of healing and sharing, for myself, for the planet and all sentient beings! For years I been searching for a way to support myself while doing something I honestly care about and now, that is at my fingertips. I'm ready to make that choice, I'm ready to do that work. I'm dreaming and grounding and slicing open my brain to get all the juicy ideas out. 

Feeling very grateful today for the magic that exists all around us! I want to encourage others to search for inspiration within and take action. Become your own weaver. and if you can't do it alone, reach out to your community. We can help each other transform our world. 

"we are the ones we've been waiting for"..

http://www.feminist.com/resources/artspeech/genwom/wearetheones.html

http://www.spiritofmaat.com/messages/oct28/hopi.htm

"and who will join this standing up

and the ones who stood without sweet ceremony

will sing and sing

back into the mountains and

if necessary even under the sea:

we are the ones we've been waiting for."

- June Jordan 

(I'm now posting this blog to my facebook account. For those that are new to reading my blog, please know i am open and honest and i often share some deep emotional work here, and sometimes I just write silly stuff. It makes me feel vulnerable to share so openly with so many people, yet on some level i think its helpful to us all to be honest and to sometimes feel vulnerable. Feel free to leave comments or send private messages if something is resonating with you)

Blessed Be!

A Walk in the Woods

Mossy Redwood Tree @ Armstrong Redwoods (not my pic)

Is that me?

Arachne / Spiderwoman

So all forms repeat, return,

Rebirth, dissolve, reflect forever

Down the passages of space and time,

Each birth the same, yet ever new

Universes blooming into unimagined worlds

That yet shall be

- Shekhinah Mountainwalker (from Daughters of the Moon Tarot)

And there I was once again, walking through a timeless forest, having taken the drop for the first time in over a year. I'd been there before, we used to skip school and come trip out in these same woods, this same path. Yet it was different, ten years later and i was seeing it with changed eyes. I walked for miles through the forest, admired the brilliance of the mossy green covering the gigantic trees, feeling intensely small and yet somehow not lost, merely one part of an incredible symbiotic story. I came to a clearing and saw a huge Oak tree on the top of a little hill just calling to me to come and sit under it. It seemed as though I was hiking all that way only to arrive in this exact spot. I sat for awhile catching my breath before I began to feel too much energy flowing through me to stay seated. I stood up and began walking in circles around this wise tree. My thoughts floated to a lost love and as I continued in circles around the tree, my eyes simultaneously taking in the misty beauty around me and looking deep inside my head, i witnessed the slow motion unraveling of our relationship. I saw my true reflection in his eyes and it shook me to the core. I wasn't ready to see those things, both the beautiful and the terrifying, but I guess sometimes they are one and the same. With shining eyes I clearly saw the mistakes I made, and his mistakes as well. I prepared myself for the coming guilt and regret, but those old bastards didn't arrive. I felt no need to go back, no need to do things differently, to apologize. I simply felt resolution. I cried and cried and cried because it felt soooo good to let it go. It had been many months since I was able to see so clearly and be so in touch with my emotions. I was so present there, in tune with every sensation within my body, all the little noises of the forest coming to life; the creatures and faeries flittering around. Walking back alone through the darkening forest I confronted endless issues of fear and the question arose, can you put this fear aside in order to let love in? Can you honestly make room in your heart for love?

Back at home I sat in front of my altar. I thought about this amazing home in the woods that I have manifested for myself. I thought about the garden just outside my door and the potential it holds for abundance. I must have manifested this space for a reason, but at that moment it was so unclear. Why am I here? What will I plant in this garden of mine? 

The beginning of a new phase in your life is such an exciting and scary time. So much raw potential, how to sculpt and focus that energy into a life you are proud to live? Feeling slightly lost and overwhelmed at the possibilities I consulted the Tarot. I drew the Spiderwoman card, the life weaver (Wheel of Fortune). Appearing at a crucial time for me, when Saturn has returned to its place at my birth, a time when I am re-evaluating just about everything I am familiar with, Spiderwoman reminds me that I can indeed take charge of my own destiny, that I can reclaim my life, make it my own again.  I am not some helpless creature at risk of being swallowed by the fierce world all around, but an active agent in my own life, a weaver of my own destiny. Wow! What a wonderful thing to be reminded of. I'm grateful for this clarity, this insight, these revelations. 

And yet the question remains, what am i weaving?

(to be cont.)

Cherry Blossom Secrets

The first cherry blossoms of the season are here!

Waking up!

Radioactive dreams

Sacred Space

Asleep,

closed eyelids kissed

by the first cherry blossoms,

i rediscover the simplicity of truth.

Waking again

awkwardly ascending toward dawn

discoveries of the night

slide through

tingling, anxious fingertips,

memories hang lightly

at the tip of my tongue.

What secrets lie in dreams,

in tears,

in flames?

This is just to say...

burn baby, burn.

"Sorry I took your money and burned it but it looked so beautiful when it crackled and burned, it looked like the world falling apart, and you don't get to see the world falling apart everyday". 

-- written by a 6th grader (This is just to say spoof, This American Life)

We Are All

Hunab Ku at Boom Festival 2008, Portugal

Mainstage opening w/ Star Sound Orchestra, Boom 2008

After all the chaos

We are all...

awaking,

rubbing the sleep from our tired eyes.

Our vision is clouded

with memories and images

of our collective dream.

We are all...

lost and found in the same moment

because we've forgotten 

the wisdom our heart's posses.

Reach out your hand,

put your feet on the Earth.

We are all...

beginners.

Open your heart

and remember the way!

Bosque del Apache

Sandhill cranes at sunset, Full moon, New Mexico, Dec 2008

Moon rise over patient sky

the creatures of the Earth

pause.

A serene moment

gracefully acknowledging our

cyclical existence.

Deep shadows over purple waters,

ripples across time,

we have only this...

the joyous and triumphant song of life.

Quiet blessings amidst chaos.

Holy Are the Simple Moments of Bliss...

Goa Stage, Universo Parallelo, Brasil

Hare Krishna chant circle, invaded by dia de los muertos characters, blissful insanity!!

Mainstage, Universo Parallelo 2009

New Years morning 2009, Pratigi Beach, Brasil

Chillaxin @ Universo Parallelo

Between worlds,
wrapped in the arms of a parallel universe,
perfecting the art of strolling.
Soft sea breeze,
bats and moths glimmering in the nite sky,
traversing the planet,
finding the perfect gift for you.
midnite chants
ecstatic calling
blissful dancing
transcending
laughing
flying
falling
landing -
there you are,
staring up at the magnificent moon,
her light illuminating your own,
fingers tingling,
body trembling,
found at last in this strange universe.
Blessed to be Here.
Blessed to be You.